It is still not 5 pm, and the amount of food I ate today is beyond anything I consumed in quite some time. I don't recall eating as much in the past 6 months as I did since the morning.
The 'smoke battle' in my mind is really tiring me. I end up eating a lot, then going back home not in the mood to do anything but to sleep. I am not happy about this mental phase, but I know how to overcome it, and I will.
I am just happy that so far I have been man enough not to smoke again.
14 days.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Quiet days at the office.
I really think my place is home.
Every passing day I discover that my true passion and ambition is not in working. I wouldn't mind settling at home and taking care of the kids. I wouldn't mind that at all. Everyday after work I return home and a huge smile is drawn on my face. I eat and just spend time with my family, watch TV if I want, read if I want, nap if I want, it is like living a lively a dream.
I am starting to get bothered from the fact that we have to work. I don't get why can't I just stay home, really.
Too much food is taking place. I am like the Big Kahuna.
I really think my place is home.
Every passing day I discover that my true passion and ambition is not in working. I wouldn't mind settling at home and taking care of the kids. I wouldn't mind that at all. Everyday after work I return home and a huge smile is drawn on my face. I eat and just spend time with my family, watch TV if I want, read if I want, nap if I want, it is like living a lively a dream.
I am starting to get bothered from the fact that we have to work. I don't get why can't I just stay home, really.
Too much food is taking place. I am like the Big Kahuna.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Fat vs Smoker?
Hello!
Sunday is here and we're back to work.
I wanted to contribute yesterday, but I was very tired, I couldn't move. I don't know why I have been very tired lately, or actually since I've stopped smoking. Maybe these are all drawback symptoms.
Apart from being tired and having naps whenever I am home, another fact is that I eat a lot now. I know it is all psychological, just trying to satisfy the need of smoke with food, so yes I am sure I am going to put on some extra pounds, but I do also know that in the near future I am going to do more sports, which is something I love. So I don't really mind gaining weight at all.
I'd rather get called 'fat' then a 'smoker'.
Sunday is here and we're back to work.
I wanted to contribute yesterday, but I was very tired, I couldn't move. I don't know why I have been very tired lately, or actually since I've stopped smoking. Maybe these are all drawback symptoms.
Apart from being tired and having naps whenever I am home, another fact is that I eat a lot now. I know it is all psychological, just trying to satisfy the need of smoke with food, so yes I am sure I am going to put on some extra pounds, but I do also know that in the near future I am going to do more sports, which is something I love. So I don't really mind gaining weight at all.
I'd rather get called 'fat' then a 'smoker'.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday the 15th.
Hello.
Another challenge surfaced today. Friday is by far the best day of the week for me, as it is a day off, lots of food and lots of shisha and lots of movies and lots of sleeping. Everything about this day has lots of everything.
I always start the day with the Friday Prayer, and then head to the hangout (Sadek) with a friend of mine to smoke our morning shisha. It is usually us both.
Today we were joined with another friend of ours who just came in from Dubai, and that's another challenge I had to face. Double challenge in one day. Everyone is used to me smoking. So today I had to sit in the morning at the cafe with my head systemized that I should smoke, and then after fighting that thought, that friend joins with his laughs and giggly attitude asking for his shisha and Nescafe, and at that point in time, I really craved for a shisha.
In a few hours I will be amongst my group of friends sitting till dawn as we usually do on Friday nights (I told you I love Fridays) - so behold challenge, here I come.
Another challenge surfaced today. Friday is by far the best day of the week for me, as it is a day off, lots of food and lots of shisha and lots of movies and lots of sleeping. Everything about this day has lots of everything.
I always start the day with the Friday Prayer, and then head to the hangout (Sadek) with a friend of mine to smoke our morning shisha. It is usually us both.
Today we were joined with another friend of ours who just came in from Dubai, and that's another challenge I had to face. Double challenge in one day. Everyone is used to me smoking. So today I had to sit in the morning at the cafe with my head systemized that I should smoke, and then after fighting that thought, that friend joins with his laughs and giggly attitude asking for his shisha and Nescafe, and at that point in time, I really craved for a shisha.
In a few hours I will be amongst my group of friends sitting till dawn as we usually do on Friday nights (I told you I love Fridays) - so behold challenge, here I come.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Cravings.
Yesterday I went through several craving encounters, but I am happy I came through unscathed.
I went down to check up on an old friend that I haven't seen in years, and we went to one of our usual shisha spots in Zamalek. Of course situations like these tempt you to smoke, as it is all in your head. The memories inside of me shape my thinking when I am put in the situation, and that's why the cravings were mainly related to my old memories. Here I am sitting in the same place where I used to smoke 12 and 10 and 8 and 5 years ago, even 2 months ago I was sitting there all by myself smoking on that same chair. Plus the fact that I was catching up with my friend added more nicotine to my brain, as conversations and debates and stories always take process with the water pipe sound in the background.
I finished with him, and then went to catch up with my usual gang in our daily spot. Yesterday was my 2nd day in the past 8 days where I sat with my friends at night, because as I mentioned earlier, the past week I mainly spent it at home unless I am at work, because we have people over all the time, due to my father's death.
I am going to hang more with my friends in the coming days, and therefore the pressure will be more and the cravings will be enormous, but one thing I am sure of, is that when someone offers me a shisha, then my reply would be "Sorry, I don't smoke."
I went down to check up on an old friend that I haven't seen in years, and we went to one of our usual shisha spots in Zamalek. Of course situations like these tempt you to smoke, as it is all in your head. The memories inside of me shape my thinking when I am put in the situation, and that's why the cravings were mainly related to my old memories. Here I am sitting in the same place where I used to smoke 12 and 10 and 8 and 5 years ago, even 2 months ago I was sitting there all by myself smoking on that same chair. Plus the fact that I was catching up with my friend added more nicotine to my brain, as conversations and debates and stories always take process with the water pipe sound in the background.
I finished with him, and then went to catch up with my usual gang in our daily spot. Yesterday was my 2nd day in the past 8 days where I sat with my friends at night, because as I mentioned earlier, the past week I mainly spent it at home unless I am at work, because we have people over all the time, due to my father's death.
I am going to hang more with my friends in the coming days, and therefore the pressure will be more and the cravings will be enormous, but one thing I am sure of, is that when someone offers me a shisha, then my reply would be "Sorry, I don't smoke."
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Journey.
It all started in Ramadan, where shisha shops during that month make more money than what they do for the rest 11 months. I was out with my school friends, guys and girls, and some of our foreign teachers. We took them to Al Hussein, where it is usually occupied with foreigners as it is a cultural center with plenty of sightseeing to do and variety of places to sit and enjoy yourself in.
When we sat down, one of the guys, who was known for being the most expert shisha smoker, ordered a shisha and ordered for the foreign teachers too telling them to try it. Myself and the other kids who never tried smoking were kind of afraid to try it, but we all decided to give it a shot. We were a group of 10 for example, and you would see each 2 or 3 sharing one shisha, but I, known for my coolness, had a whole water pipe all for myself.
It really felt very good. It was an amazing experience. I kept smoking for hours, changing bowl after bowl. That night was not just an exceptional night, it was the stepping stone or the night whereas I left my childhood back home and jumped into the sea of adulthood.
When we sat down, one of the guys, who was known for being the most expert shisha smoker, ordered a shisha and ordered for the foreign teachers too telling them to try it. Myself and the other kids who never tried smoking were kind of afraid to try it, but we all decided to give it a shot. We were a group of 10 for example, and you would see each 2 or 3 sharing one shisha, but I, known for my coolness, had a whole water pipe all for myself.
It really felt very good. It was an amazing experience. I kept smoking for hours, changing bowl after bowl. That night was not just an exceptional night, it was the stepping stone or the night whereas I left my childhood back home and jumped into the sea of adulthood.
Background.
For the record; I have been a regular smoke for about 14 years. I started when I was 13 and it seemed fantastic and cool to smoke back then, but now that I am almost 27 the sensation and uniqueness have both worn off.
I am tried of the addiction.
I am tried of the addiction.
A New Beginning.
All my life I wanted to quit smoking, but the thought usually was being smoked away. I tried to quit before, and actually did so at one point in life, which of course I am going to share with you later. I hate the fact that I am a slave despite me ruling the thought out. I hate many things about it, and my poor little mind always labeled smoking with big red hearts and butterflies.
I am going to tackle all my smoking life and share everything on my mind related to it in here. This is going to be a diary on my battle to a healthier life.
Will I succeed?
I am going to tackle all my smoking life and share everything on my mind related to it in here. This is going to be a diary on my battle to a healthier life.
Will I succeed?
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